


Purgatory

by not_rude_ginger



Series: The Andorian Tales [6]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Surgery, Waiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 13:18:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12169659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_rude_ginger/pseuds/not_rude_ginger
Summary: There is nothing worse than waiting, especially when you don’t know the outcome of what you’re waiting for.





	Purgatory

**Author's Note:**

> "Nothing could bleed that much" from 500 prompts [Shran/Telev] -- ANGST; T'Pol has to support Shran while Telev undergoes a dangerous medical procedure

T’Pol watched from a distance as Shran stood by the beside of his playmate, tentatively squeezing Telev’s hand as the Andorian medics, along with Dr. Phlox, prepared for the procedure.

“You’ll be fine.” Shran said quietly, rubbing his thumb over the back of Telev’s hand. Telev, pale and groggy, nodded.

“If you say so.”

Shran glanced around, and T’Pol looked away to give him some semblance of privacy. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Shran bend down. She expected him to kiss Telev, but instead he cupped the chan’s ear and whispered something that made Telev’s glassy eyes clear and he stared up at Shran in shock. Shran gave him a small smirk and said,

“You’ll have to give me an answer when you get back.”

Telev nodded slowly as Phlox came up to the other side of the bed.

“We’re ready to proceed.”

Telev swallowed and looked at Phlox quickly, before looking at Shran,

“I want you to look after my ship until I’m back.”

Shran nodded, “As if it were the Kumari.”

T’Pol noted that the two were still holding hands. It was hard to tell which of them was clinging on harder to the other. The Andorian Medic came over with a syringe.

“I’m going to give you the first sedative now, Captain.”

Telev swallowed and nodded, not looking from Shran’s face as the injection was given directly into his musculature system. In less than a minute his eyelids drooped and then closed, his hand slipping from Shran’s as Shran stepped back out of the way of the medics as they set to work. T’Pol pressed the door open and walked with Shran out of the Medical Ward of Telev’s ship, the Ariston. Shran walked a few steps away from the doors, then stopped and sagged against the wall. T’Pol stared at him and then looked at the floor. She knew she ought to say something to him, but given his temperament, she did not think he would appreciate her speaking.

Shran rolled from his shoulder to his back, and let his head fall against the bulkhead.

“This was never meant to happen.” he murmured quietly to himself.

T’Pol did not bother to point out that no one could have foreseen this happening, least of all Shran and Telev. Instead she simply said,

“Dr Phlox and Medic Lethel are confident this will be successful. Captain Telev will recover from this.”

Shran snorted, “Sure. He’ll recover, everything will be fine and we’ll all move forward with our lives.”

“I fail to see what else you can do.” T’Pol said carefully. “Moving forward is the logical way to live. What other option will you have?”

“So what will this mean?” demanded Shran. “If he does survive… what if he’s disfigured? What if he’ll never go back to how he was?”

“We can never go-”

“I swear T’Pol if you try to quote one more Surak cliché at me I will throw you out the airlock!” Shran was still leaning against the bulkhead, but he was clearly holding himself there, half ready to launch himself at her, if only to have something to distract himself. “You know damn well what I meant!”

“And I am telling you that no matter what happens to us in life, we are always changed by it. This experience is going to change the Captain, physically or emotionally or mentally, just as it will affect you. Accepting this will aid you in dealing with it rationally.”

“That’s fine for you!” Shran snarled, pushing away from the bulkhead and striding up to her, pushing his face into hers. “You're a Vulcan! You don’t care what happens to anyone. I on the other hand do care about what happens to Telev. If he can’t recover, it’s going to be my fault!”

T’Pol did not back down in the face of Shran’s bluster, she was used to it now, and knew he would shout and yell until he was spent, but she was in no real danger. He had too much control over himself for that. Still, his refusal to accept this as an accident that was beyond his control was foolish.

“You had no way of knowing that this would happen. Neither of you were aware of the technology that was so close to you. You have… been together so many times, how could you have anticipated this time would have resulted in this happening?”

Shran deflated before her eyes, antennae falling towards his eyes. “If we had done a damn scan, that’s all it would have taken…”

T’Pol could not deny that it was likely that would have prevented this. Her silence was enough to make Shran step away and slid down the bulkhead to rest his elbows on his thighs, head hanging between his knees.

“All it would have taken…” he repeated, voice faint and weak. T'Pol looked away, out of respect. She knew Shran would hate her witnessing his moment of devastation when he recovered from this situation. And he would need to recover too, it was not just Telev who had been injured by this impossible situation.

T’Pol found herself wishing for Captain Archer, or one of the Andorians to come and take over for her, because she felt hopelessly inadequate to deal with this situation. But the Captain was busy keeping the Imperial Guard calm and Telev’s crew were doing their jobs. T’Pol was on hand in case Phlox needed scientific assistance. That left her with Shran in the corridor, logic telling her that she ought to offer comfort, but having no real certainty about what would actually help him.

“How did you meet the Captain?” she asked abruptly. Shran lifted his head and squinted at her.

“What?”

T'Pol crouched down in front of him, mirroring his stance and meeting his eyes. “How did you meet him? I understand you have known him a long time, but how did you actually meet him?”

Shran furrowed his brow, clearly having to think hard. “It was so long ago… I can’t really remember him not being in my life.” He looked away, then let out a soft chuckle, barely more than a breath. “I remember. It was in the Imperial Academy, we were both first year students, training to be Guards. It was the last meal of the day, and I’d dropped my tray. I was picking it up when I heard this voice. I’m not… I’m not sure why, but the sound of it made me jump, and I hit my head on the table I’d crawled under. When I emerged, I found Telev smirking at me like he’d known me all his life.”

A look of confusion passed over Shran’s face, “I never really understood that. How he seemed to know me so well, how easy it was for me to…” He blinked and seemed to realise who he was talking to because he pulled back and his eyes lost their warmth. T'Pol realised that, despite their time as co-workers, Shran still saw her as the enemy.

Then again, for a person who supposedly revelled in his emotions, he was not good about sharing those emotions.

Huffing, Shran asked, “Have you figured out how to switch that damn thing off?”

“Not as yet. And there is some debate about whether we ought to or not.”

“What? Why? That thing is killing Telev!”

“It was not designed to be a weapon. It merely proved… incompatible with Andorians. Some of the scientists believe it would be remiss of us to destroy it considering its remarkable technology and its original intent was to benefit people.”

Shran growled, but T'Pol was rather certain she had made her point since he did not actually argue with her. He passed his hands over his face and straightened up.

“How long will they be?”

“Doctor Phlox said it could be several hours at least. They have only been working for twenty minutes.”

Shran’s antennae recoiled from her words and he shifted where he stood. Soon this developed into full on pacing. T'Pol stood and watched him, wondering if she ought to suggest they go for food or offer him ale. Somehow she did not think that he would accept either. He would be unmovable from this corridor until they learned of Captain Telev’s fate.

Half an hour passed before Shran spoke again. He had stopped pacing and was standing before the doors, staring at them. T'Pol’s mind had been analysing the information she had collected about the device, trying to see if she had missed anything, so when Shran spoke, it caught her off guard.

“I hate him.”

T'Pol stared at him, certain she had misheard. “Excuse me?”

“I hate him.” Shran passed his hands over the back of his head, “I hate him because he won’t hate me! He won’t listen, he won’t learn!”

Clearly T'Pol had not been the only one thinking hard. Shran turned to her and said, “Everyone thinks I’m the stubborn one. But I’m not. He is! He’s the one who never accepts things if he doesn’t like them.”

“Captain Telev has always shown a remarkable ability to adapt to any situation, I fail to see how he refuses to accept things.”

“If he had any sense he would not even be in this situation!” Shran snapped. “If he had just gotten it into his head that he should find new playmates then he wouldn’t be lying on that table, fighting for his life! He would have what he deserves, bond-mates who are actually willing to be with him, sprogs being carried by his shen and zhen mates, being born in a nest they have made together instead of having unnatural eggs made by a machine with my blood put inside him and are forcing his body apart!”

T'Pol watched as he punched the bulkhead and leaned against it, panting heavily. She swallowed and looked away, then said quietly,

“The device is designed to detect emotional connections, not just physical interactions. It would never have done this to him if it had not assumed you two were-”

“Is that supposed to help?” Shran demanded, “Because if it is, you can stop now. In fact I will beg you to stop. Because you’re not helping!”

“And you are not helping yourself.” T'Pol retorted, “You are making yourself angry, trying to find someone to blame when it was all a mistake. You are denouncing Telev as being stubborn, when it may be that he has never gone after a traditional quad because that is not what he wants. If you really wished for him to find such a thing, you would have made it happen. You are very tenacious when you set your mind to something, so why have you not made it so he has no choice?”

“Because I…” Shran’s mouth hung open as his voice faded away. Finally he pulled back and snarled, “What would you know about it, Vulcan?”

“I may suppress my emotions, but that does not mean I do not understand them. In fact in order to be able to suppress them we must examine them and understand them. And I understand that you have never pushed him away for the same reason he has never moved on. You are equally responsible for your relationship remaining as it is. Perhaps, when this is over, you and he ought to-”

“Don’t you dare try to give me advice on Telev!” Shran barked. “You know nothing about him, or me!”

“I am trying to help.”

“I never asked for your help!”

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked quietly, watching his face. Shran faltered for a moment then looked away.

“How are they going to reverse the physical changes?” he demanded.

T'Pol folded her hands behind her back and said, “Doctor Phlox and Medic Lethel believe that once the eggs are removed, that will cause the hormonal changes to cease, and then hopefully they will reverse. Phlox believes that once his own body’s endocrine system is given control again, his body will return to normal.”

“Good… he didn’t want to metamorphose into a shen… or whatever that thing was trying to make him into.”

“As I understand it, the device attempted to make him into a zhen and shen at the same time.”

“It thought Telev was a sterile female, and tried to make him fertile.”

“It did not think… it is a machine, it detected two individuals engaging in what its processes determined was a sexual activity, and determined that both individuals were infertile and thus activated its primary program, which is to grant them fertility and aid in conception. It analysed your bodies, recognised an organ that would house offspring and attempted to correct what it determined was a problem. If it were capable of thinking, it may have realised its error before it took its course of action.”

“Stealing my blood to construct the eggs and implant them inside Telev.”

“Yes.”

T'Pol hesitated, then asked quietly, “What is going to happen to the eggs? I heard Phlox mention freezing them, until such a time when they could be implanted in a more suitable body.”

Shran was silent for a long time. T'Pol was sure he was not going to answer that. She knew it had been a matter of some discussion between him and Telev.

“You know, Talas met Telev.” He said at last. “It was… very interesting.”

T'Pol had not met Talas for more than a few seconds, but she could easily see the chan and shen being much the same in manner, and that causing a reaction if nothing else.

“Talas said after that she imagined that Telev and I would have to form a quad together, because our genes were too strong and well suited to each other to be apart. And now… now there are three eggs, living and real, but somehow only made of mine and his blood.”

He was rambling, T'Pol wondered if he had held back what he really thought about the eggs, focusing only on Telev’s health.

“Telev’s mind was affected by the things going on inside him, he worried about doing something that would harm them.”

“That would seem sensible.”

“He is not bonded, his parental instincts are not yet active. Nor are mine.”

“Yet it does not mean you cannot care for them, does it?”

Shran shrugged, “No more than any other Andorian life.”

Liar.

“In any case, we decided not to freeze them. They were unlikely to survive anyway, and even if they did, who would carry and incubate them?”

“Perhaps a shen and zhen you might one day bond with.”

Shran gave her a side-long glare. “Even if we did that –and the ‘if’ is very strong indeed –Lethel pretty much guaranteed that such an action would be pointless. A shen’s body would instantly recognise they did not belong and destroy them.”

“So there was really no chance of their survival.” T'Pol concluded. Shran dropped his chin.

“No.”

They were quiet, Shran’s antennae falling and remaining there as he seemed to lose his nervous energy and became still. But it was not that tense stillness she was used to from him. This was an exhausted, miserable stillness, like he had accepted defeat. She realised, with a degree of surprise, that she had broken his walls of anger and irritation and left him deflated. There was nothing he could do, and now he had lost his buttresses of easy emotions.

After a while, he sank to the floor and buried his face in his hands. When he did not move for a long time, T'Pol grew concerned and crouched down next to him. She hesitated a moment, then rested her hand on his bicep, squeezing gently.

“I am confident that Captain Telev will be able to recover from this experience.”

Shran dropped his hands and looked at her. T'Pol inhaled sharply when she realised that it was not Telev he feared would not recover, it was himself. The fear for Telev was real, but he was also afraid that he would not be able to deal with the aftermath. T'Pol had said it herself, this experience would change him, change them both.

“I… I once thought it would make everything easier. If he and I could… but then we would have to admit…” He shook his head and looked away from her and sighed, saying no more. T'Pol said nothing either as she sat down next to him and they waited.

Finally, the door slid open and Phlox came out, his scrubs stained with an alarming amount of blue blood. Shran was on his face in an instant.

“Telev?”

Phlox gave him a tired smile, “Everything went very well Commander. He’s resting now, and we’ll need to monitor him for some time, but we were able to remove the eggs without having to remove his sac, and so far his bio signs are stable.”

Shran swayed visibly and Phlox reached out to catch him, but he straightened up and assumed his usual strong voice.

“Thank you Doctor. When can I see him?”

“Give us a few more minutes to settle him properly and you can sit with him.”

Shran nodded quickly and Phlox went back into the Sickbay, the door shutting behind him. Shran’s hands twitched and he let out a shaky breath.

“Well done Telev…”

T'Pol arched an eyebrow at him. Shran swallowed and let out a heavy breath. T'Pol shifted and started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Shran asked in surprise. T'Pol turned back to face him, he seemed perplexed that she was leaving. It made a warmth fill her chest.

“I am going to see what the scientists have learned about the device while we were waiting. I’m sure Phlox will want everything he can get.”

“Oh. All right then.” Shran nodded to her, a warmth in his eyes that reflected her own sensation. T'Pol nodded in turn and walked away.

 

**~*~**

 

“Ah, thank you T'Pol.” said Phlox when she presented her findings to him.

“Of course.” T'Pol cast her eyes around and spotted Captain Telev on his bed, surrounded by machines, with tubes attached to his arms to fill him with fluids and blood and antibiotics. He was pale, but he was awake. Someone had pushed another biobed up against his and Shran was lying on it, and he was sound asleep, head on Telev’s shoulder. Telev was purring softly at him, smiling when Shran’s antennae, moving slightly in his sleep, tickled at his jaw.

“He seems to be recovering well.” she said quietly.

“Indeed, then again, with Commander Shran looking after him, I don’t think he’d have a choice.” Phlox chuckled as Shran shifted, tightening his hold on Telev and burying his nose in Telev’s skin. Telev’s smile widened, even as his head fell back and he slipped away into sleep. T'Pol looked at them, and then asked in an even lower voice,

“Was there really no chance the eggs would survive?”

Phlox side and glanced at a small dish which had been covered. “Realistically no. There was a chance, but it was minute, and would have put a shen at risk.”

“Then they made the right decision not to try.”

Phlox nodded as Lethel came over to them.

“It’s a shame really,” she said. “They really are lovely together. Sprogs by them would be very strong.”

T'Pol hesitated, then said quietly, “There’s no reason that the device could not be used to achieve it. It would just require some additional ingenuity.”

Phlox and Lethel looked at her, then at each other. Then Lethel smiled, “Well… that’s nice to know. But I think it will be some time before they even think about it. Captain Telev has a long way to go before he feels like a chan again.”

T'Pol looked at the two on the beds. Shran was running his hand over Telev’s chest in his sleep, and she came to the conclusion that Shran would never have cared if Telev had been unable to change back.

Enterprise remained for two weeks at the planet they had been studying with the Andorians before Captain Telev had become ‘ill’. During those two weeks, the humans only saw Shran once, and that was when Archer went to express his relief at Telev’s recovery, and invite him to dinner. He came back looking mortified, so it was easy to guess that chan and thaan were both feeling at least somewhat recovered.

Still T'Pol noticed that while most would think things were back to normal, they had changed. During the dinner, Telev and Shran were attentive to each other far beyond ‘surreptitiously’ rubbing their feet together under the table. There was an intensity to their gazes, a disinterest in the rest of the world. And then Shran fed Telev a piece of chicken with his fingers while he spoke to Captain Archer. It was a quick, almost delicate movement, but it shocked T'Pol beyond anything else she had seen of the two. It was open, it was bold.

It was love.

T'Pol considered that perhaps the device had achieved its goals after all. Just in a very roundabout way.

She would need to re-examine it, perhaps she had underestimated its intelligence.    

**Author's Note:**

> Come and chat with me over at my [tumblr](https://not-rude-ginger.tumblr.com/)


End file.
